I’ve been thinking this line over and over again recently.
“The Opposite of Good is Not Hard.”
Can I be honest with you? There has been a lot going on recently in our tribe of people. Also, I have started calling our friends and family our tribe, and there is nothing that feels more right than that. You know, the people who you can call on in good days, bad days, hard days. The ones who would go to battle for you. Who would bring coffees to you. Who would cry on your kitchen floor with you. We have those people. We are so grateful to have those people.
Some of our very best friends are going through such hard things right now. We have friends who are walking through the scary road of cancer in their families. We have friends who are walking through sickness, change, & financial hardship. We have friends who are walking through fear, and confusion about what the future holds. I sat in the waiting room in a doctors office a few weeks ago praying over and over that everything would be okay with someone really close to me.
And in the midst of it all. I am here to tell you.
It is not bad.
It might be hard. Oh, you guys, it is so hard some days. To see your friends so deeply hurting. But I would rather be there in the hard moments than not be there at all.
To have close friendships means that we are up close and personal. Not only on the happy wedding days and in the hospital when brand new babies enter the world. In the moments of celebration.
But it also means that we are up close and personal in the sickness, in the mess, in the fear, in the confusion.
And it is so good. It is hard. But it is also good.
Love, life might be so hard right now. It might feel big, and overwhelming, and scary. But in the midst of it all, it is good. It is good to have the people who love you surrounding you in your mess. And it is even good to be the one who holds your friends close when they walk through these hard things.
I am reading a book about asking. And in the midst of it, I am realizing that one of the things that I don’t like to do is admit that I need help. I don’t think anyone really does. We all want to have it together. We want to appear as though we can make it through. That we are strong, that we are capable.
And there might be some truth to that. You are strong & capable. But that doesn’t change one thing….
Life gets a little less hard when we don’t walk alone.
I’m not here to tell you that having close friends makes life easier. But having people there to make you laugh in the midst of the really hard moments is something that I think is invaluable.
You guys, the opposite of good isn’t hard. When hard things happen, I think our first thought is to proclaim that life is bad. That life is no longer good, or worth celebrating, or worth being thankful for.
But I will tell you the opposite. I would never wish hard situations on anyone. But in the midst of them, run so hard. Run so hard towards the people who love you. Who would give you anything, who would stay up late and wake up early to make sure you don’t have to walk through these things alone. It might be uncomfortable to tell them what you are going through, it might feel awkward, or scary. But it is so worth it.
We pray every day that our friends would find out that the cancer is gone, or they got the job, or that their prayers have been answered. And I hope to be able to tell you someday soon that those prayers have been answered.
But until then…
Until then, I will make dinner for our friends and ask the loaded question, “How are you?”. Even though I know that the answer is not going to be a standard, “I’m fine.” Because I want to know the real answer. I want to be there. To walk through the good moments. The hard moments. I want to give them opportunities to say, “I need you“.
In the midst of the hard, don’t walk alone.
Photo By : Olivia Strohm Photography