It’s been over 1,000 days since I walked down the aisle in 10 layers of chiffon and said “I Do”.
Now, 3 years is by no means a lifetime. In the grand scheme of things, we are just at the beginning of our journey. But I’m not going to diminish 3 years as unimportant. Because the last 3 years of my life have by far been the best 3.
I wrote a blog when we had been married for 4 months called “Why I Don’t Agree that Marriage Is Hard”. And I had so many people tell me that I was still in the honeymoon phase and to wait until a few years had gone by. That my attitude would change and I would soon join the club in proclaiming “Marriage Is Hard”.
So, here I am.
3 years later.
And marriage is still the best thing in the world.
Are there moments of marriage that are sometimes hard? Yes. But marriage as a whole? Marriage is not hard. Marriage is the BEST.
LIFE IS HARD sometimes. FRIENDSHIP is hard sometimes. WORK is hard sometimes. PAYING BILLS is hard sometimes. WORKING OUT is hard sometimes. DRINKING ENOUGH WATER is hard. REMEMBERING TO DO X, Y, & Z is hard sometimes.
Marriage is the best thing that I have ever signed up for. It is the best choice I made. Being married to Kyle is not hard, it is easy. He makes my life better in so many ways. He challenges me to grow. He loves me exactly the way that I am. He lets me be so vulnerable. So honest. And never judges my unfiltered thoughts.
You know what I think has been the hardest part of marriage?
REAL REAL REAL Vulnerability. Because for so many of us, we have been hurt in the past. Not even by our spouse. By friends in 4th grade who made fun of you for something. By the boys in high school who joked about my appearance. So we put our guards up.
And then we get married, and we learn day-by-day that our spouse can be trusted with every piece of our heart. And when I say “hard”, I don’t mean that there are arguments and yelling matches – that we disagree and there is tension. Vulnerability is hard in that we slowly have to take down the walls that we have built. Brick by brick we let our spouse into our lives and understand even fully when it says that two people will become one. It is hard because it is something that we have to consistently do, even if it is unnatural. Even if we aren’t used to it. We choose every day to trust, to be open, and to let ourselves be known.
Kyle has proven time and time again that he is the person I can tell anything to. He will love me. The beautiful parts. The ugly parts. The parts that have been racked with insecurity.
Year 3 of marriage was so beautiful. We learned even more how to be vulnerable with each other. We took our first adventure to Ireland. We walked through grief when we lost family and friends. We celebrated every chance we could.
I am so grateful for the things that marriage has taught me. But more than that – I am grateful for the man who I get to wake up next to every morning and fall asleep next to every night. I am grateful for his optimistic outlook when hard situations arise. I am grateful for his compassion. I am grateful for his patience. I am grateful that he works harder than anyone I know and I never hear him complain. I am grateful that he chooses to love me each morning and never makes me question his commitment. I am so honored to be his wife. I get a front row seat every day to watch my very favorite person do life.
On the good days, on the hard days, on the lazy days at home.
He is the man that I want. He is the man that I need.
Happy 3 years, KJC. You are my best.
I cannot wait for the next 1,000 days.
Photos from our In-Home Session with : Echo Photography